The importance of wearing a hat

I should start wearing hats. Every important man does. Not just a baseball player hat, not a woolen winterish one, not even an elegant fedora hat like Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca.

If I want to have real credibility, if I want people to follow me and to trust my words, then my hat has to be a fully fledged goldish piece of head-ware. And the crazier the idea I want to propagate, the more outstanding my hat has to be.

Follow me

It seems that you cannot even think to start a religion, or at least to lead one, if you are walking around with your naked head. If you have a minimalistic taste, then Judaism is the right way to go: kippot are elegant but discrete, and you are not required to wear your shel rosh if not during your prayer time. Iranian Ayatollahs and Indian Sikhs share the same style: they just wrap a piece of fabric around their head, mocking every women with long hair getting out of a shower. And Native Americans wear feathers just once a year for the Nations Pow Wow (I have been attending one in Albuquerque, New Mexico, a couple of years ago — an amazing experience).

Patriarch Kirill and his friends

However, the most imaginative and powerful hats are those in the wardrobes of Popes and Patriarchs belonging to the composite universe of Christian Orthodox Churches. Those guys have a long standing tradition of decorating their own head with the richest and coolest pieces of art. Even a fashionista like Pope Benedict (take a look in this other post on His Holiness taste for fancy clothes), even he has a hard time to match the stylish Patriarch Kirill of All Russias and his bearded colleagues.

Beyond the sense of ridiculousness

The secret is: you have to be so ridiculous in your cloths, that no one would dare to think that you could actually get out of home dressed up like that, without having a very good reason. Or at least being completely insane.

Once you are brave enough to dress like a Drag Queen in the full light of sun, you may well say whatever you want to a crowd, avoiding the risk not to be taken seriously. How may you doubt of an old pal walking around wearing a gold skirt, a glittering jacket and a funny pointed hat, telling you that Hell will take away those depraved new generations not believing in some God? How cannot be truly inspired by some deity an unmarried guy in female clothes condemning homosexuality?

The king is (not) naked

Religious leaders learned the lesson quite well. No kid would ever unveil their game, since no one could honestly say that those guys are actually under-dressed. The king is not naked. The power resides in the one wearing the funniest hat. Even Gandalf knew it.

Oh yes, if I want to be successful, I should definitively wear a hat.

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