So, yesterday, I was moving some boxes from the basement back to our apartment, when I found this old photo CD. I almost forgot I had it. Some years ago I wrote “photos 2003-3007” on the cover, and buried it with old postcards, books I was never going to read and dusty teddy bears.
When I loaded the disc in Bella’s MacBook, six years of my life popped out like in Albus Dumbledore’s magic pensieve. Organized by date, place and sometimes name, moments of a gone time decided to visit again my thoughts. And they surprised me.
There were the first digital photos I took with a rudimentary mobile phone’s camera, others I shot with the compact digital I received as a present in 2005. I even had some scans of printed pictures. And a few videos.
There I was, smiling
And there I was, smiling hand in hand, hugging or just side by side with a wide variety of girlfriends, dates, wannabes and other young females whose name I hardly remembered. There was this crazy girl I met at the university, who was studying medicine and now is a psychiatrist, smiling at me while drinking something at our first almost-date. And this other almost-famous groupie, working as a soubrette for a local television.
The girls, looking at them now, looked all almost the same. Most of them were not even pretty, I should admit with some concern browsing those portraits. On the other hand, it seems to me that I always look the same, like if in these ten years I did not grow older. However, it may be that I tend to be more indulgent with myself than with them. Isn’t it?
I found myself laughing at some funny shots, most of the time I just skimmed through tens of repeating shots. There was a large collection of low quality pictures of that girl from the West Coast, and some others of the medical student (another one, and not less crazy) I dated a year later. Pictures of clandestine loves, and a few I should have deleted for good and forever.
It felt weird
Donno what you think, but for me it was also hilarious, and somehow scary, to see some pictures sent me by these girls once they got married (yes, but with someone else of course!). The Russian girl I dated in Chigago, and the sweetheart of my fifteens, both smiled at me, in these images, wearing a white dress and an ugly guy in the background.
Maybe it does not make sense, but I did not feel at ease seeing myself on the side of other girls than Bella. I mean, I met all of them well before even knowing Bella was walking on this planet. Still, it felt kinda weird.