Five times I cried

crying 04

The first time

The first time I was seven, or maybe eight. The ophthalmologist was quietly talking to my mother. He just visited me, and there were the results. I had to wear glasses. Donno why, don’t ask me, but as soon as I heard his words, I started to cry. Both my mother and the physician got really afraid. What did happened to you, they kept asking. I cried and I cried. I was inconsolable. It’s kinda funny. It is more than 30 years that I am wearing glasses, and they are somehow part of my life. But that day, I cried as if they were going to kill me there.

crying 01

The second time

The second time it was for love. And it was not going to be the last time. I was fifteen, and she had long brown hair and chestnut eyes. I had to wait almost twenty years before sleeping with that girl. I wish I knew it the day she dumped me: it would have spared me a lot of pain. Sometimes the future gives us unexpected surprises, but I could not imagine one day our paths would have crossed again. Still, that day of 25 years ago I closed myself in my room and I stayed there crying until I had tears, and then I started again and again.

crying 02

The third time

The third time I cried in the night. For the first time I had to practice the cardiac massage on a three months old baby. That little thing died under my two fingers pressing her chest. Yes, I have seen so many people dying, of every age. I have massaged and ventilated so many of them, that I lost the count. But that day, for the first time, once home, I cried thinking about what happened in the morning. And still I cannot forget.

crying 03

The fourth time

The fourth time I cried when I closed the phone. We should move on, she told me. In the morning, when she took the train, we kissed for the last time. I love you, she said. Somehow I knew it was not true. Things were over since a while. Still I cried. My mind went back to a day 15 years before, when the girl with chestnut eyes decided it was over. So maybe, that day, I cried more thinking about C., than I did for E.

crying 05

The fifth time

The fifth time, I cried for joy. And for love. Bella was there in front of me. Auntie is beautiful like a princess — said my nephew, looking at her. And yes, the white dress, the veil, her eyes glittering of love. I was there, and I felt as all the world was mine. Everything had suddenly a meaning. We were holding our hands, and we were walking together down the aisle.

These pictures

These beautiful — and tearful — pictures are copyright of artist and photographer Jill Greenberg:

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