NSA, No Strings Attached. Or rather, National Security Agency. Yes, the guys listening to all your phone calls, reading all your emails, keeping a folder with all the photos you posted on Facebook, and updating on a daily basis a file with the most relevant — and irrelevant — information about your life. Cool, uh? Your pointless, boring life seems to be suddenly interesting for some very secret American agency! Obama is spying on you! Wow! So you are a big guy, uh?
Give me a break!
Come on, give me a break! I’m sick of reading posts on Facebook of people complaining that “NSA is spying on us, shame on you Mr. Obama!”. It is like if you get out naked, walk downtown on Saturday afternoon, and get upset because everyone is staring at you! “What are you looking at?” Ah ah! You cannot be serious!
It is as stupid as those that post things like “I turned off my lights for one hour to save energy and the planet”, oh, yes, meanwhile you keep your computer on, with a fast wireless connection. Smart.
They could not care less about you
The whole thing is actually deeper. It is not just about stupidity. No, it is about being so egocentric to believe that your life is actually of any interest for someone. Finally you feel important. Finally someone cares. No one reads what you post on Facebook? Well, at least now you can go around and say “fucking NSA does”! Believe me, they could not care less about you. In physics we call it background. Your phone calls, your messages, your credit card records are just noise, for the National Security Agency.
Somehow people like this story of NSA for the same reason why they like religions. You get a meaning only if you believe that there is some invisible external entity, out there, listening to all you say, even all you think. An invisible power interested in your life. Someone calls it God, someone else Mr. Obama.
Oh yes, “Snowden is a hero! He told us the truth! And Obama should give him a medal, not to prosecute him!” Oh, really? I’d like to say a couple of things about this. The first is: you get a job, and you sign a confidentiality agreement. It is common practice. Even the guy delivering pizzas should not disclose the addresses of his customers! You breach the agreement? You face the consequences.
Then, let’s be serious: what do you think secret services do? It’s easy, it’s just three letters. Yes, they S-P-Y. That’s their job. They are paid to do it. All countries do it. Oh, but they are spying on you! Ah, really? Do you think they will seriously listen to your phone calls? Dream on!
Just because I love you
And then, once again, where is the news?
I’ll give you two examples. Just because I love you.
Do you know Jessica Fletcher? Yes, the nice lady of “Murder, She Wrote”. In an episode aired in 1997, “South by Southwest”, Jessica is actually involved in an investigation about the National Security Agency. And in the episode itself, they show how NSA is spying on every one out there. Don’t believe it? Luckily enough there is YouTube, now a days. It is a nice movie, too!
But if you don’t have time, jump to 00:39:10.
Meanwhile in Siberia
Ten years after Jessica Fletcher, in 2007, the Simpsons disclosed the same non-secret! So, where is your Edward Snowden, now? Oh, yes, he is a hero for freedom, and he got asylum in the free land of Russia. Meanwhile the Pussy Riot Nadezhda Tolokonnikova was just transferred to an unknown location, after being threaten and beaten up in a penal colony. And the 30 Greenpeace activists (not that I like them too much, actually), are charged with piracy and will most likely spend some 15 years in prison in Siberia.
But the bad guy is Obama, of course. And American is evil. They spy on you! By the way, what the hell are you doing on the internet, if you really want to be “free”? Take a tour in North Korea, and try to read this post. If you can. Please, turn off your iPhone. And remember to wear your underwear when walking down the street.