10 things against gay marriage

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1. In Sweden, gay people can marry, get children, divorce, be happy, be sad, have a job, wear glasses, drink red wine, use public transport, become priests, judges, hair dressers, gain weight, go on diet, love flowers, collect stamps, serve in the army, get parking tickets, drive white cars, wear yellow ties, vote, sneeze and even snore. Yes, they also fart: but let’s be clear — also cute catholic heterosexual Italian girls fart. So, it is not a big deal.

2. Jesus was gay.

3. If gay people could marry everywhere, the only effect is that gay people would get married. Maybe there would be a decrease in the number of young people enrolling in local seminars and monasteries. Why to cover up your homosexuality becoming priest or nun, if the country would be more free?

4. Ok, I was kidding. Jesus was not gay: simply because he did not exist. It is like to say that Dumbledore was gay (well, actually, he was gay.) But honestly, who cares? He never said anything about sexuality of people. Dumbledore? No, Jesus.

black and white boobies

Statistically, 10 out of 10 homophobic males will like this image.

5. “They can get married, but no — they cannot adopt.” Let me introduce you Josef Fritzel, Salvatore Parolisi, Rahmi Şahindal. All of them good examples of heterosexual parents. Believe it or not, parenthood is not affected by sexual preferences. I grew up seen parents beating their children. Or at least slapping them, now and then. Here in Sweden, where gay people can marry, adopt (and apparently fart), I never saw any parent (straight, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer) to hit their children.

6. “Gay parents would influence their children, so they would become gay.” — Beside the fact that I do not see what would be wrong with it, gay people have usually heterosexual parents. I guess it would hold the other way around. I am more afraid of catholic parents producing catholic children, violent fathers producing violent sons, homophobic grandparents teaching their little ones that “pink is a color for girls“.

7. Most of catholic priests are homosexuals.
Those who like women, usually prefer underage girls.

8. It is against nature: monkeys and chimps are not homosexual. Nature says that sex and marriage are just meant to be there for reproduction. Really? First of all, how is it that suddenly you did become a Darwinist? Weren’t we created by your imaginary friend, the All-Mighty God? And then, you see, chimps do not get married.

9. “So, if we allow gays to get married, then we should also let people to get married with animals.” — No, it’s not a joke: I am dead serious, I read it more than once. Jesus forgive me, but maybe it would be better to marry a chimp than such an idiot.

10. Seriously, do you need ten points to understand?

© Akif Hakan Celebi

© Akif Hakan Celebi

What about these photos?

Oh, yes, these photos of naked people: it is just to make you, white male catholic homophobic people to go through this post. You never know, maybe they will read some line — and get it.

What about the title of this post, then?

It was ironic.

Do really catholic girls fart?

Yes.

© Akif Hakan Celebi

© Akif Hakan Celebi

Farting cute catholic girls

I slept with few of them. They mostly pretend two things: to be virgin, and not to fart. I dunno where it comes from. One blond girl told me once that her mother would not have approved. I did not dare to ask if she was referring to intercourse or flatulence. Another one was keeping them silent: needless to say, they were deadly. I remember hearing a girl farting during the service, at the local church. She stared at me with a look of disapproval: I could not resist from bursting in a laugh. The priest thought that the fart was mine. Another good reason not to show up again at that parish.

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