The Russian Bully

sexy russian soldier

Are you ready for the Russian invasion?

Russia is soon going to attack Europe. It is not an open question, it is just a matter of time. Georgia has been the first country to fell under Putin’s Imperial Army. Caucasian people, not really Europe: so we did not get too afraid. Now it is the turn of Ukraine. Armed guys with tanks and heavy weaponry appeared out of the blue in the streets of Crimea. Or rather, out of the red. Who is going to be next? Sweden, actually, is a good candidate.

Sweden is not part of NATO (for the little it counts: I will come back to this!) and Sweden is defended by some inefficient home-made jet fighters named Gripen. The King of Sweden tried to sell those slow airplanes to all developing countries around the world: from South Africa to Brazil, he landed a deal only with the authoritarian regime of Thailand. Swedes were kinda upset when Norway did buy US produced jet fighters, instead of making a deal with SAAB for a handful of Gripen. “Why do they need to have better airplanes than we do?“.

A Norwegian, a Swede, and a Lion

Two friends, a Swede and a Norwegian went together to Africa for a safari. Suddenly, they found themselves unarmed and alone in front of a lion. “I hope I can run faster than he does” — said the Swede. “I hope I can run faster than you do” — answered the Norwegian. The lion, in this story, is an homophobic Russian bully: Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

When the Russians arrive...

When the Russians will come…

...the Swedish Army will be ready!

…the Swedish Army will be ready!

NATO would not help either

Being part of NATO would not help either. Putin knows it better, and he actually wants to prove a good point. If a country belonging to the Atlantic Alliance would be attacked, all the other countries of NATO should respond to the offense. “All other countries” actually means “the United States of America“. Yes, because European countries did cut down so much their military expenses that they count almost zero, in the actual power of NATO. And none of them has the military capability of standing an attack from Russia. Not even all the European countries together.

If Russia invades Poland

Imagine Russia would attack Poland, tomorrow morning. Or Estonia. The European Union would call for a meeting, and condemn the invasion — with a majority vote: Italy, Germany, Portugal, Slovenia, Hungary would ask for a more “mediated” position, Sweden and Belgium would abstain, France would not participate since the discussion was held in English and not in French! Federica Mogherini would tweet her indignation. The Security Council of the United Nations would meet the week after: China and Russia would pose a veto on any resolution, and in 2049 they will probably decide to recognize the status quo: Poland is now part of Russia, but ONU recommends to go back to the borders of 1967.

Make Love Not War: Russia vs NATO

Make Love Not War: Russia vs NATO

The two options

NATO would finally meet a month after the invasion. The Polish government in exile would ask for intervention of the Alliance: and here are the two options.

1. The US, and its allies, would launch an attack on Russia. Putin would retaliate with a nuke on Paris, or London. The US would then drop a strategic nuclear bomb on the Kremlin. A Russian nuclear submarine deployed  in the Atlantic Ocean would then erase Manhattan, Washington DC and Boston. Then, continue as you like most. The world as you know it does not exist anymore.

2. The US, and its allies, would say: “booo, Putin, boooo, go away from Poland, you bad boy”. Russia would not care too much. Obama would then impose sanctions on the import of Russian vodka. Putin would not care. Poland is now Polandsky Oblast, a region of the Russian Empire.

Make-Love-not-War NATO

Make Love Not War

Poland is not worth New York

From that moment on, any country would know — once and for all — that NATO was just a scam. No one is going to protect you, because Poland is not worth a nuke over New York, Estonia is not worth 1 million American lives, Lithuania is less valuable than Philadelphia.

Everyone who was ever bullied at school knows it well. The teachers cannot defend you: their power is just good words, but they cannot actually take any physical action. If the bad guy wants your lunch, you better give it away with a smile. Because the bully does not give a shit about the principal, the school, the rules of society. The bully will beat you up, while the teacher will never beat him: they will tell to that bad ass “this is not the way to behave!”. So what?

О μύθος δελοι οτι..

The strategy of Putin is quite clear: sending bombers over Europe, nuclear submarines in Sweden, army in Ukraine, the Russian bully is just showing the NATO bluff. Once, and for all.

Make Love Not War

Make Love Not War is a series of images published by Vogue.

Make-Love-not-War

Make-Love-not-War America

Make-Love-not-War Russia

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